i just watched Definitely, Maybe. and i actuali like it! i feel so warm and fuzzy right now. HAHA. i should've known that April was the one. at one point she said the movie's title. so of course it's her! heh... i think it's quite cool. like i actuali felt for them. ISLA FISHER IS HOTT!! ok ok hormones aside, the 2 leads had good chemistry.

aaaaanyways i'm having a problem with one of my songs. so what's a better way to wind down than to watch a commercial hollywood romantic comedy... which didn't end up all that bad. heh...

OH! now i feel lonely. maybe one day my daughter will encourage me to confess to my true love... who is not her mom... that's kinda screwed up if u think about it. BUT HEY, it' hollywoood. heh...

gimme gimme back my drum sound

i think God speaks to you in many ways

sometimes and oftentimes mysteriously and subtly

sometimes quite clearly

and sometimes when you think your talent is shit, the next day a whole bunch of people on the internet come up to you to tell you that they like your song.

thank You

your manager says you need better songs....

your good friend says your sound is raw and that your song is just a "passing song" on the radio and nothing special...

as much as i try not to be affected, i am.

so am i supposed to succumb to commercial pressures or believe in my music and just do my thing?

i just feel so torn and depressed. i was thinking maybe i could make a difference in the local music scene. but now i think maybe i'll just be another guy who wanted to be something but never quite got there.

the opinions of these people matter greatly to me. if they already feel this way about my songs, then i seriously don't know why i'm even trying. why i'm even trying not to be a product or why i'm even trying to give listeners something different. the album might just end up being a vanity project.

i am doing everything on my own and sometimes i just feel like giving up.

maybe you're not such a great songwriter after all...

some people handle fame with grace. others, not so much...

sometimes you need to take a step back and see what you are. see what you've become.

never forget who you are. sure you can have fun and 'enjoy life' but there are lines that shouldn't be crossed.

always be humble. you are a person before you're a celebrity. for me, i am also a son, a brother and a friend before that.

i am sad and disappointed